I'm so tired. Stupid hard bed. I couldn't go to sleep until 2am and had to wake up at 7am. This sucks.

I'm not studying as much as I did last semester. As is, I have a test in... 49 minutes and haven't really studied and I'm writing this instead of studing, case in point.
I only bring this up because I just got out of Biology and was falling asleep. All his questions come from lecture and he doesn't really teach from the book so that's bad. It's because I sit next to Amber that I don't pay attention. She sits there with her labtop and does facebook. :( so I subconciously don't pay attention because I don't see why I should and she doesn't have to. blah! I just need to work on paying attention and studying.

Another not paying attention problem:
So, I didn't realize until last night that I actually considered myself smart (kind of?). I really like hanging out with Eric and CJ. But for awhile yeasterday it was just Eric and me and he is soooo intelligent!!! I feel dumb talking to him. He's such a nice guy though. lol i only bring this up because it's funny how much of a stress it is to thing (which sounds even stupider, lovely, i'm definatley dumb lol jk) :)

Ps- probably should start stuying for that test i have in 40 minutes.

Ps-I hope everyone has fun at Ikki!

Ps- Yarik's little texting to tell me to call Tina is really starting to piss me off! Yarik is pissing me off!

This is killing me!!! I want a ciggerett so bad!!!! this is killing me more than smoking EVER COULD!!!!!

i'm really tired and need to start studying again for biology, i only have one more chapter, then need to review each chapter again a bit before bed.

I made the mistake of looking at pictures of them, all happy, it makes me sad... because... idk... i almost want them to be together just so he can be happy... but at the same time i want to be greedy and have him all for myself when i don't even have him. ridiculous. he has a quote about them when they were together:

"The great thing about her is when you look in her eyes, and she's looking back in yours, everything feels not quite normal, because you feel stronger, and weaker at the same time. You feel excited, and at the same time, terrified. The truth is you don't know what you feel, except you know what kind of man you want to be. It's as if you've reached the unreachable, and you weren't ready for it."

^isn't that So sweet? makes me want to kick someones ass lol.
Idk... i don't think I'm woman enough to make anyone feel like that, or atleast when i think about how people feel when they like me or how i feel when i care about someone... it's never as deep as that...

Tina, I left you hanging on here, you might not even be using this thing any more.
I had been writing a journal to Jessica so I stopped using this, but I want to use both! :(
Let's see, so far... not a lot has happend since such a long time ago.

I have adjusted to life on campus, and eventhough there is nothing to do, I don't HATE it anymore :)
I think I'm doing well in my classes *knock on wood* though I am starting to lose motivation.
I have three tests, a few quizes, then thanks giving break, then a week, then finals!!! Over thanksgiving break my mom has gotten tickets for Cirque De Sole!! I'm SOOO excited!!! :) I've been wanting to go for years! :) Time goes by so fast, and I feel like I'm not making the best of it, there is so much morethat i could be doing. Like spending time with friends and family, falling in love, etc. There is this one boy I might like, i kind of did while i was "going out" with Kevin (I say "going out" bc one fucking week does not mean you went out.) but I put it aside, we hang out sometimes, mostly to study, but idk... I'm hopeful, even if it never leads to anything. :)

Ah! I'm waiting outside the library right now, I have to study Biology all day bc i have a test on wednesday, the freaking library doesn't open till 1 pm on sundays lol, lame!!